Anonymous said: As crazy as it sounds, learning to be happy being alone is the first step towards having meaningful a relationship. If you can't look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I love the person I am", then it would be selfish to expect someone else to love you. Surround yourself with friends while you discover who you want to be as a person. Once you are truly content with being alone will you be able to open yourself up to another person in return. And that person will be in love with the real you.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m content with the person that I am! I think this summer has been a coming of age period where I’ve been away from home and able to enjoy being on my own. I’ve just been feeling, recently, that people are wanting to be around me because they expect something from me. It’s different than being at home with my close friends who are just with me because they like being around me and they aren’t demanding anything from me. Maybe the people I’ve been exposed to in college haven’t had the greatest intentions and that’s starting to bother me. It’s easy for me to be alone, but it’s when somebody tries to break down the barrier and be in my life that usually throws me. 

But I guess all this comes with getting older. You meet people who are going to change your life for the better and those who have nothing but their own agendas at heart. Maybe it’s learning to distinguish the difference and keep the good ones that’s important.

Anonymous said: Learning to love your self and love loneliness is the best thing you can do for yourself. Although extremely difficult and as selfish it may seem ,it is. This world seems to require love to move forward. Not only love for life, the world we live in but for each other. Unfortunately it is extremely difficult to believe in this when you have no sense of hope or trust in people because of the betrayal that so many of us experience. And ironically as I tell you this my heart is more than shattered.

I think this may be one of my favorite anon messages ever. Thank you for the insight, I really do appreciate it. =)

Sometimes I get so into my head that I just think I’ll be alone forever, which is totally fine, and it seems like what I actually want. But then it seems like I can’t actually become friends with people or they think I want more. Like can I just wear a sign saying “I just want to be friends and if I like you more than just friends, I’ll find a way to show it. And if you still want to try something, fuck off please.”

Well, it seems everything is escalating quickly today. Eh, I’m tired and I’m sure my mind will change in the morning. Goodnight lights~

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Literally, the best thing in existence. Like I get so self conscious when I do things that are meant to be read by other people, or meant to represent something bigger than myself, but when I ask for someone I respect to read things over and they give me points to work on and things they specifically like about my work, it really makes me happy and excited!

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